Look, I feel sorry for the guy. I do. His whole life has been completely outside the faintest semblance of normality, and he's become such a caricature of himself that it's really tragic, but still: this mugshot of Michael Jackson is one of the creepiest things I've ever seen. That... That... That's just not right.

And whatever intern decided to make that photo the splash picture on the New York Times tonight, which is my homepage, buddy, you and I are going to have words.