The problem with blasphemy isn't that it's unholy,
nor that it makes the baby Jesus cry
or that your poor grandmother, five years gone,
certainly sheds a tear from beyond the grave
every time you utter one – no,
it's that it's so goddamned funny,
it's fun to use the Lord's name in vain
for something as mundane as a parking ticket
or to call down the Almighty's holy wrath
when the pizza place runs out of mushrooms
and the mental imagery of the only son of God
bouncing happily along on a goddamn pogo stick
is enough to make even the most die-hard atheist
chuckle just a little if she really, really
thought about it.