So this weekend I went out on a date – two, actually – and while I had a great time, for various reasons I had the point driven home that I really, really need to get serious about my plans for Spring Training. Namely, I need to peel off the thirty extra pounds that have managed to snake their way onto my ass in the last eighteen months or so. Further, the five-year reunion for my college class is coming up in eight weeks, and I’d like to be back down to my fighting weight for that as well.
Tonight I made a challenge with one of my classmates – The Race to Negative Thirty is on. To your right you will find a graph charting the necessary decline in poundage that would have to be achieved for the next eight weeks. According to The Abs Diet losing thirty pounds in six weeks is possible, but I remain skeptical. I’m not going to go on another one of those stupid Atkins/South Beach diets, because the last time I went on one of those I lost some weight but also turned into The Incredible Hulk – for some reason, a huge protein injection also resulted in a massive testosterone boost, which then in turn made me irritable and, well, roaring. I’m man enough without turning into Mr. Hyde, thanks. I like the Abs Diet because they basically say, “Eat right, exercise more, and by the time you can see your abs you’ll have lost a bunch of flab everywhere else.” I like to call it the ‘No Duh Diet’.
Every Monday for the next eight weeks I’m going to post my progress in the form of an updated version of this graph. It won’t be available in the archives, since I’m not sure I want this misadventure to haunt my future, but it’ll be up here for y’all to taunt and mock at your leisure. The way I see it, I’m going to use the boost in my self-confidence from recent events to help drive this experiment – if I can get into M.I.T., I can do anything.